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jokes of the day:
Your Husband Lost Five Hundred Dollars at Poker:
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a
single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five
complete their playing time standing up.
One of the men looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to
tell the wife?"
They draw straws. Steve, who is always a loser, picks the
short one.
They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad
situation any worse than it is.
"Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will
ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me."
Steve walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the
wife answers, asks what he wants.
Steve says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards."
She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!"
Steve replies, "I'll tell him."
~ ~ ~
Cure for Dandruff:A blonde and brunette are walking along and the brunette turns to the blonde and said 'my husband had really bad dandruff, so I gave him head and shoulders.' then the blonde says 'how do you give shoulders?'
~ ~ ~
Get the Pigs Pregnant:A farmer had 50 female pigs and wanted them all pregnant. His friend told him to screw them himself. If in the morning they were rolling in the hay, they weren't pregnant, but if they were rolling in the mud, they were. The farmer decides this is a good idea, and that night he loads all the pigs into his truck, takes them into the woods, and screws them all.
The next morning, he looks out the window and sees all the pigs rolling in the hay. He's really frustrated, but decides to give it one more shot. So that night he takes all the pigs to the woods and screws them again. The next morning, he looks out the window, and all the pigs are rolling in the hay. He's really tired, but thinks he'll try one more time. That night he takes all the pigs out and screws them yet again.
The next morning, he's too tired to look out the window, so he tells his wife to tell him if the pigs are rolling in the mud or the hay. She goes to the window and tells him he better look for himself. The farmer goes to the window and sees all the pigs in the truck honking the horn and waiting for him.
~ ~ ~
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