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jokes of the day:
Penis Receipts:
When the ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals...

"Listen up!" he said in a demanding voice. "There will benosex on this trip. All of you males, take off your penis and hand it over to my sons. I will sit over there and write you receipts. After we see land, you can get your penis back."

After a week, Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very excited.

"Quick!" he said, "Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!"

Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, "Sorry, no land yet."

"Damn!" exclaimed Mr. Rabbit.

This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him.

Mrs. Rabbit asked, "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for 40 days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. Why are you acting so excited every day?"

"Look!", said Mr. Rabbit with a sly expression, as he held out a piece of paper, "I got the horse's receipt!"
 Voices in my Head:
PICKUP LINE:

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come talk to you!
 Whorehouse in Anchorage:
A Texan walked into a whorehouse in Anchorage and asked, "Do you have a girl here from Texas named Arlene?" "Sure do," said the madam. "Go on up to Room 6."

The Texan went up to Room 6 and knocked on the door. When the woman answered it, he asked "Are you Arlene from Texas?"

"I sure am," she replied.

"Well, I got two hundred dollars," he proudly said.

The hooker grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him into the room. After they had thrashed around on the mattress for a half an hour, the Texan got up to leave. "Will you be here tomorrow?" he asked.

"Sure," Arlene said, "I'll be here."

The next night, the Texan came back and went up to Room 6. Another two hundred dollars, another hour of horizontal aerobics. When they were done, the Texan was sitting on the side of the bed and he asked, "Will you be here tomorrow night?"

"Honey," she said, "I'll be here every night for you."

The next night, the Texan came back again. Same thing: two hundred dollars, the best sex of his life. When they were done, they were both sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Say," Arlene said, "what part of Texas you from?"

"I'm from Dallas," the Texan says, with a big grin.

"Well, I got a sister in Dallas!" the hooker cries.

"I know it," the Texan says, "and she gave me six hundred dollars to give to you!"
 












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