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jokes of the day:
Blowjob:
A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.
When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
"What? You're crazy!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
"No!! Someone may see -- a relative, a neighbor..."
"At this time of the night? No one will show up..."
"I've already said No, and NO!"
"Honey, it's just a small blowie...I know you'd like it, too..."
"No! I've said NO!"
"My love... Don't be like that..."
At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!"
Underwear:
Q: Why does the President wear underwear?
A: To keep his ankles warm.
Big Tits Is Everything:
The other day, while I was seeing my shrink, he asked me what I looked for in a woman.
Naturally I replied, "Big tits."
He said, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."
So I said, "Oh, seriously big tits."
"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?"
He looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch laughing until my gut hurt. "Spend the rest of my life with one woman? No woman's tits are that big."
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