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jokes of the day:
Blondes can't eat bananas:
Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A1: They can't find the zipper.
A2: They cant find the pull tab.
Dead Priests:
Two priests died at the same time and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for a week, but you can't go back as humans. What'll it be?"
The first priest said, "I've always wanted to be an eagle soaring above the Rocky mountains."
"So be it," said St. Peter, and off flew the first priest.
The second priest mulled it over for a moment and asked, "Will any of this week 'count,' St. Peter?"
"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."
"In that case," said the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."
"So be it," said St. Peter, and the second priest disappeared.
A week went by, the computer was fixed, and the Lord told St. Peter to recall the two priests.
"Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asked.
"The first one should be easy," said St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult. He's on a snow tire somewhere in Minnesota."
The Mariner's Wife:
A Mariner was out in a rowboat with his wife when she fell
overboard. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't find her,
so he rowed back home.
The next day, his friend showed up at the dock and said,
"Clyde, I found your wife. She got tangled up in my trap
lines and she's got thirty lobsters sticking to her. What
should I do?"
"Quick, pull off the lobsters and set her again!"
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