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jokes of the day:
Protection:
Once upon a time, Little Red Riding Hood's mother (being concerned about the increase in violence in rural America) gave Little Red a .45 caliber gun for protection. Little Red kept this gun in her basket.
One summer day while on the way to her grandmother's house, a big bad wolf jumped out from behind a tree and howled to her, "I'm going to screw your brains out!"
Little Red pulled out her gun from the basket and calmly replied, "Oh no you're not, you're going to eat me like the story says."
Big Tits Is Everything:
The other day, while I was seeing my shrink, he asked me what I looked for in a woman.
Naturally I replied, "Big tits."
He said, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."
So I said, "Oh, seriously big tits."
"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?"
He looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch laughing until my gut hurt. "Spend the rest of my life with one woman? No woman's tits are that big."
Confessions:
Ted and Julie go to bed with one another for the first time.
Julie: I think I should warn you Ted, I've got acute angina
Ted: You're breasts aren't bad either.
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