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jokes of the day:
Blowjob:
A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.
When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
"What? You're crazy!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
"No!! Someone may see -- a relative, a neighbor..."
"At this time of the night? No one will show up..."
"I've already said No, and NO!"
"Honey, it's just a small blowie...I know you'd like it, too..."
"No! I've said NO!"
"My love... Don't be like that..."
At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!"
Streets Of Amsterdam:
Two Dutch girls are riding their old rickety bikes down the back streets of Amsterdam one late afternoon. As it turns closer towards dusk, the increasing darkness of the streets starts making the two girls a little nervous. One girl leans over to the other and says, "You know, I've never come this way before."
The other girl says, "It's the cobblestones."
Stairs Of Heaven:
There were three guys that died, and to make it to heaven, they had to go up 100 flights of stairs. Each stair had a naked woman on it. They had to make it up all the stairs without getting a woody.
The first guy went up, and he made it 25 stairs. The naked lady asked, "What were you before you died?" and the man said, "I was a carpenter." So she hammered his dick off.
The second guy went up, and he made it 50 stairs. The lady asked, "What were you before you died?" and he said, "I was a wood cutter." So she sawed his dick off.
Finally the third guy went up. He made it 99 stairs, and the naked lady asked, "What were you before you died?" and he says, "I was a lollipop! Ha ha, bitch, you gotta suck my dick off!"
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