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jokes of the day:
A Deathbed Confession:
Becky was on her deathbed with her husband, John, maintaining a steady vigil by her side. As he held her fragile hand, his warm tears ran silently down his face, splashed onto her face, and roused her from her slumber.
She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling John," she whispered.
"Hush, my love," he said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk."
But she was insistent. "John," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess" replied the weeping John. "It's all right. everything's all right, go to sleep now."
"No, no. I must die in peace, John. I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father."
John mustered a pained smile and stroked her hand. "Hush now Becky, don't torment yourself. I know all about it." he said, "Why do you think I poisoned you?"
 Whorehouse in Anchorage:
A Texan walked into a whorehouse in Anchorage and asked, "Do you have a girl here from Texas named Arlene?" "Sure do," said the madam. "Go on up to Room 6."

The Texan went up to Room 6 and knocked on the door. When the woman answered it, he asked "Are you Arlene from Texas?"

"I sure am," she replied.

"Well, I got two hundred dollars," he proudly said.

The hooker grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him into the room. After they had thrashed around on the mattress for a half an hour, the Texan got up to leave. "Will you be here tomorrow?" he asked.

"Sure," Arlene said, "I'll be here."

The next night, the Texan came back and went up to Room 6. Another two hundred dollars, another hour of horizontal aerobics. When they were done, the Texan was sitting on the side of the bed and he asked, "Will you be here tomorrow night?"

"Honey," she said, "I'll be here every night for you."

The next night, the Texan came back again. Same thing: two hundred dollars, the best sex of his life. When they were done, they were both sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Say," Arlene said, "what part of Texas you from?"

"I'm from Dallas," the Texan says, with a big grin.

"Well, I got a sister in Dallas!" the hooker cries.

"I know it," the Texan says, "and she gave me six hundred dollars to give to you!"
 Penny For Your Thoughts:
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

A: Change.
 












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